Is the famous saying “who finds a friend, finds a treasure” still valid? Knowing how to recognize true friends from toxic friends is very important in the society we live in. The first ones are those who make us live better and especially who improve our morale. The latter ones, on the other hand, always doubt what we say, tend to control us, don’t like our friends and are jealous of them, they judge us, they criticize us, they always want to win in discussions, they think of us only when needed, they are jealous of our successes, they often get angry with us and try to occupy all our free time. To live in peace and serenity, it is better to know how to recognize them and finally get rid of them. To make it easier for you, here is a list of toxic best friends.
The disturbing introvert
He is the one that conveys a continuous state of stress and restlessness that makes you feel so uncomfortable that you don’t find it natural to expose yourself too much. You already understand that what you feel with him can hardly satisfy you. Better to avoid this type of acquaintance.
The disturbing extrovert
Excessive in false impulses of affection. Always proactive with proposals at the limit of feasibility. Apparently ready to do anything, but backs off when needed and called for. With a dangerous and ambiguous charm. Keep the correct distances.
The plaintiff or the victim
His speeches are almost one-sided and focus exclusively on the misfortunes and misadventures that befell him. Every little mistake becomes a tragedy. All this only conveys a bad mood and anxiety. This is the classic person who relies on respectful but passive listening and, in this way, absorbs a lot of energy and does with it what he wants. So stay away! You must not play your game, otherwise it is over!
The gossip peddler
He is first of all very kind and affable to you so that he can make himself feel like your friend to gain the maximum of your trust. He is knowledgeable about the lives of others. He prefers to focus on external facts to escape his internal problems. He makes you feel privileged because he always has something hidden to tell you about someone and he recommends that you keep it a secret. However, after you have observed the gossip well, I recommend that you ask yourself why he chose you to tell certain things. By asking the same questions to the person concerned, we realize the veracity of the gossip and especially their reliability. Gossip should be avoided because sooner or later he will treat you the same way.
Here is the fake smile expert. Any success on your part becomes an excuse to tell you that he too went through the same thing and even more. However, he is one of the worst friends because he realizes in a certain sense that he can make you feel inferior and as a result he implements strategies to harm you in a sneaky way and never in the sunlight. A true friend, on the other hand, should rejoice with you in your successes and should express his happiness in a natural and sincere way. Otherwise … go!
The throbbing intrusive
He’s the one who always needs you, your advice and your opinions. He is convinced that he values you so much that he expects just as much in return. He wants to be involved in each of your initiatives. If you do not respond to his messages within a short period of time, he takes offense and reports it to you. It is a type of friendship that causes anxiety and depletes energy. With these people, we need to gradually loosen the bond so that both of us can find the right relationship space.
He never agrees with what you say. Any motive, from the simplest to the most important, becomes a pretext for criticism, a destructive criticism that aims to annoy and attack. True friends, on the other hand, give constructive criticism that points out our incorrect behaviors that could become harmful over time.
He completely disappeared from circulation. He used to call you and look for you all the time, now he doesn’t even answer the phone and he avoids you anyway and he always has an excuse at hand. There is certainly something behind such behavior: a pain that he is unable to express or just as much a happy change that he does not want to share. However, it is advisable to tackle the problem because if the friendship is great, it is worth trying to rekindle it. In any case, such behavior cannot be explained.
He still sees himself on a pedestal and the center of the world’s attention. He does not listen to what others have said because he only considers his opinion valid. He only talks about his problems and if the subject does not relegate him to the fringes of the general interest, he always tries to bring attention back to himself. He strives for perfection and wants to appear charismatic in the eyes of others. He always asks for confirmation of what he said or did even if he will only listen and accept affirmative and obsequious answers, rejecting the slightest criticism. He never admits his mistakes as it would hurt his personality. Instead, he often and lightly blames others. Self-centered people are people with whom it is difficult to have support and a friendly relationship because they always have a desire to receive in one direction.
The one considered “bogus” or the one who has no qualms about canceling an appointment. He is always busy with a thousand things and at the last minute he calls you to tell you that he will absolutely not be able to attend. With these people, we really have to try to understand the importance that we have for them and especially to understand if we are only a spare wheel for them.
For these people, you only become the absolute best friend when needed. Whenever they need a service, they call you and then disappear for a while. When you need him, a thousand commitments take over that prevent him from helping you. Friendship is a mutual and reciprocal feeling, and for this reason it is necessary to be able to decide and exclude this kind of friends by explaining your disappointment well.
So how do you recognize a true friend?
A great friend is truly special. He’s the one who helps you be a better person, listens to you and gives you advice for good. He doesn’t judge you, he helps and supports you without expecting anything in return, and even though he sometimes argues with you, he will always give you his honest side of the story. He looks forward to your successes and is happy to see you grow in personal relationships as well as in the professional field. Despite the distance, if he is far away, he will always be present, he will always find a way to be close to you. And above all, even the passage of time will not be able to keep a great friend away! He trusts you and defends you tooth and nail, giving you time to solve your problems. The great friend when he is there is truly a precious treasure.