In 2020, in the age of social media, I wonder if suitors still exist or are a dying breed. I actually think the second hypothesis is more realistic. It seems that man has lost the urge to court. The art of seduction is made of exchanges of glances and a thousand gallant attentions has given way to totally different approaches, dictated by the rules of social networks. Today, giving a bouquet of flowers or roses to a courted has become almost unusual. Simple sentences, photographs, little hearts and emoticons are the new and sometimes ridiculous form of ‘courting modern times’.
But how was it used to be courted?
At the beginning, there was always care, grace and kindness. You wanted to amaze, surprise and show what you wanted. Conversely, you wanted to be amazed, surprised, but above all desired. The delicate and creative approach is precisely what allows you to know and assess yourself. Creating a relaxed, intimate and pleasant atmosphere not only puts you in a state of openness to others but also increases their interest, curiosity and desire to get to know you better. A game that stimulates both the suitor and the other person, creating expectation and increasing desire on both sides.
I had fun listing some prototypes of “pretenders of the new millennium” here:
He’s the one who sends you a hello with a photo of himself while in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, having a coffee, getting in the car or closing the house door.
Selfies obviously also continue during the day, where grimaces and forced smiles now become a ritual. The only way to calm his obsessive mania is to tell him he’s not photogenic at all.
For him, you can’t go on a date without a box of strictly assorted chocolates. Chocolate is scientifically proven to be good for mood. It is no coincidence that it is called the hormone of happiness and good mood, it stimulates the activation of important neurotransmitters and gives the body a feeling of well-being, vitality and energy. There is also the element of surprise: guessing the filling of a single chocolate can be fun.
The box is usually accompanied by a word with a romantic phrase. But beware of grammatical errors, they could be fatal!
KING OF THE WORLD MAN
Here are the real supermen or those who already know everything. The meeting almost becomes a monologue where the suitor enumerates and praises the innumerable personal qualities without listening or accepting any criticism, simply because he considers himself as the “king of the world”. Beware of these characters because they are the most monotonous, the most dangerous and could make you have a bad evening or even whole days: to forget!
I wrote “Sex” and not “Sexy”, it must be made clear. In this category belong those who have the brain between their legs. From the first meeting, going under the covers becomes a ritual, even before knowing the person. For him, telling about the last movie he saw, the last book he read or the previous vacation in Patagonia is of no value. He is more interested in talking about underwear as well as his latest conquests or favorite sexual practices.
They are the ones who take the famous saying “If I give you a finger, you take an arm”.
The Hammer Man is the one who takes advantage of the fact that you’ve given him some confidence to feel allowed to hammer messages at you any time of the day or night via WhatsApp or Messenger.
He needs to make you feel his presence and for this reason, it is difficult for him to take his eyes off the double check mark on the message he sent to confirm that you have received and read it correctly.
They are always joking and sometimes even predictable. They want to make people laugh at all costs without realizing that in most cases they are making a fool of themselves. It is true that the humorous, funny man always attracts, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it at all costs by improvising jokes of frustrated teenagers that often end up making the situation worse. It is not uncommon for the smiling man to manage to establish only simple friendships, nothing else.
It’s the so-called old-fashioned knight where the man with kind manners and gestures demonstrated his romance without ever being intrusive and always respecting the other person’s moods and feelings.
This type of behavior, considered traditional, has almost completely disappeared. Women today prefer a more modern and less rigid approach, perhaps with a touch of irony.
His primary goal is to make his intentions clear from the start. A franchise that on the one hand can be seen as an interesting and rare feature, but on the other hand, can scare the counterpart. The sincere man is the one who is the most appreciated by the fairer sex because with his ways of doing things, he shows accuracy and sincerity.
This category includes all those who are ready to invent anything to attract the attention of the prey. Fortunately, we know that lies have short legs, so the underhanded game sooner or later turns out for what it is.
The tactics of this type of pretender are certainly among the most dangerous. By sending dozens of messages a day, he intends to defeat the unfortunate, because he is convinced that sooner or later, he will come to accept his court out of exhaustion. In doing so, however, he only strengthens the antipathies of the prey, earning the title of “desperate.”
In conclusion, asserting an axiom on the precise rules of seduction becomes difficult because each person has different characteristics and desires. There are those who prefer romance, those who are gallant and those who like the direct approach. At the base of everything, there must always be respect for the other person or at least the ability to assess the interests and needs of the other. The fact that various dating techniques can determine the success or failure of a hypothetical future relationship should not be underestimated.