We are always looking for the method to live better and in a peaceful way. From this, the importance of a level of self-esteem that can allow us to be well “present to ourselves” and well oriented on our real value and our abilities. The fundamental foundations of self-esteem are found in ourselves and not in the judgment of others. Who knows us better than ourselves? We know how much we really value and how far we can go. Often, however, due to shyness or laziness, in making an important decision, we evaluate ourselves in a negative way.
Based on a study done by experts, here are the right keys to be able to gain greater self-esteem and be able, in this way, to be able to open the right doors:
1) Learn to say what you really think. Say freely what you really want and hear. The important thing is not to be aggressive. Formulate your thinking correctly.
2) Try to achieve your priorities. Put your doubts aside and focus on your life projects and leave room for certainties.
3) Face reality. Try to see things in a more positive way by focusing on fundamental values (freedom of thought, respect for others, love, etc.) – Think positive! Ignore the inner voice, not realistic and objective, which tends to underestimate and minimize skills.
4) When faced with a problem, is there always a tendency to see the thing with negativity? Try instead to see the positive aspect and the possible solution. List the negativity in one column, in the other, the positivity and in the third, the solutions.
5) Change history. Making sure that failures and defeats are always the favorite topic in the conversation certainly does not help to have a positive awareness of oneself. Avoid excessive shyness and overwhelming humility. Words are very important because they greatly influence our perception of us and that we transmit to others. Try to tell events in which you have not been victims, but winners … accepting the compliments without ever justifying you. Also learn to compliment your achievements.
6) Rediscover the “star” that is in you. Do and show the things you can do well: cooking, writing, running, singing, dancing, etc. So that you can express yourself in something in which you are winning … competence and charm will be the master.
7) Doing sports. Running, walking, swimming, riding, skiing, going to the gym, dancing, etc., are activities that only increase our positive sense and control our abilities, thus increasing our degree of affirmation. The benefits of physical activity are to improve emotions, quality of sleep and well-being in the round.
8) Help others. Taking care of others helps you feel useful. It is very important to be able to voluntarily offer our availability for others, transmitting our knowledge and our experience. Even the mere presence as well as the help provided help to reinforce the awareness. This altruism must be conscious and sincere.
9) Compliment yourself for your small and big daily successes: a well-organized weekend, a successful cake, a job done in record time…
10) Eliminate phrases such as: “I’ll never be able!”, “What an idiot”, “I’m really banned”, etc … Eliminate them from your thoughts.
Remember, however, that the beauty of a person comes mainly from within and therefore with little effort we are able to transform our personality and to solve the “unavoidable” problems of everyday life.
However, it should be noted that, as regards self-esteem, there is a difference between man and woman: female self-esteem depends on the quality of relationships while, for a man, work and successes matter.
A woman feels the need to talk with her partner and wants to be pampered. For this reason, she often says that the relationship is more important than it is for the man. The latter tends more to solve the problem and consequently in the eyes of the woman appears insensitive and indifferent.
If a woman tells her husband that she has a problem, he will wash the car, if he then confesses that he is unhappy, he proposes to bring her to the cinema, then seeing that this does not work, he proposes to vacuum her. All this because man intends the material gesture as a manifestation of affection. He does not understand that the woman is only asking him to speak and be heard.
If a man has a problem, he dismounts and he reassembles the mower, he arranges the garage, carefully cleans the bicycle, scooter and car and, perhaps, he rearranges the attic.
All this to say that if the woman is dissatisfied with her relationships, she cannot concentrate on the job, while the man is dissatisfied with the job, he cannot concentrate on the relationships.
If you try to understand this substantial difference you could avoid many problems in a couple!