Some think that the “savoir-vivre” is absolutely not trendy; this just untrue.
At the base of the “savoir-vivre”, there are very precise rules: it is required to express oneself in an elegant way, with simple cordiality, to have a good presence and, above all, not let oneself be taken too much by emotions and instinct. Self-control above all!
Below you will find some basic rules … all men and women who have respect for others should know them:
- Never go to someone’s home without having advised the person as she could welcome you, if desired, even in dressing gowns. An English lady said that when she saw a person coming from the window, she put on shoes, a hat and took a purse and an umbrella. If she wanted to receive the person; she said: “How lucky, I’m just coming back at this moment”. If she did not appreciate the person, she said: “Ah, what a pity! I’m just going out shopping”.
- Never send messages after a romantic meeting. The meeting must have been enough to pass all possible messages directly.
- The man must never carry the woman’s purse, or the woman the bag of the man.
- Man should not wear a woman’s coat except to deliver it to the wardrobe.
- In the streets, the man, in a protective attitude, must always walk to the left of the woman.
- At the movies, a theater or a concert, the man must always go forward first and look at the audience, not the stage.
- Never touch a woman during a conversation, even the hand, unless you need to help her get on or off the car, or cross the road.
- A man should not smoke in front of a woman unless she allows it. Even better, no smoking at all!
- When you arrive, you should always greet with a “hello”.
- Personal messages are personal and, as such, they must not be read by other people.
- Never leave a wet umbrella open, either in the office or at someone’s home.
- Always knock before entering a room.
- A woman is not required not remove her hat or gloves when entering a room. The only thing to be taken off are the hat and, possibly, the fur or wool knobs.
- The man always goes in first on the elevator, but he will position himself near the door to be the first to go out.
- In a car, the most prestigious spot is the one in the back. Gallantry says that the man should open the door.
- Being punctual is always a sign of education and respect towards others. Only because of valid reason such as force majeure, a delay can be accepted, with prior notice.
- If one says “Let’s go to the restaurant”, it is implied that the bill will be paid by the one who suggests it. If one wants to avoid this, one would rather ask: “Would you like to go to a restaurant?”.
- Never place a mobile phone on the table at the restaurant. This is because it shows that you are not interested in the conversation and pay more attention to your social media profiles. If you have to answer a message, go to the toilets.
- A woman should never put her bag on your lap or on her chair. Only clutch bags can be placed on the table. The most voluminous bags should be hung from the chair.
- In a Japanese restaurant, most people think that they should always use chopsticks to eat sushi. Exceptionally, only men and I repeat only men, can afford to eat it with their hands. Women absolutely not ; they would lose their delicate and mysterious appearance.
- Even if you do not drink or abstain, there is no need to warn everyone. You can even ask white wine and wet only the lips.
- Never say you are on a diet. You cannot refuse a dish with the excuse that you must lose weight. However, always make compliments even if you do not taste the dish.
- Shoes must always be clean at all times.
- Being too fashionable can become ridiculous. The important thing is to always be elegant and have style.
- Only a maximum of 13 accessories can be worn by a lady. A bracelet can be worn over the gloves, but obviously not a ring.
- Important conversations about work should not be done over the phone. You must talk in private, or at least on video call
- If one is offended in public, one must not respond with an insult or a gesture. Just smile and leave the room.
- In public, avoid talking about age, wealth, religion, politics, gifts received, honor or medical examinations.
- If someone calls something like “hey you”, do not react. Tell him you have a name!
- To inappropriate questions, respond elegantly with a smile and try to change subject.
In a public or in a private context, no bad language (vulgar and offensive). Lately, unfortunately, it is becoming more and more common to use swear words and imprecations in a joking way. This is always a deplorable behavior that does nothing but diminish the elegance of a person.